This week at the Fundacion there are some American visitors and governors. I think they are here to try and make plans and sort out financing from possible supporters. This means my hosts Bill and Ceci are fairly involved so everything here is very up in the air and our usual routine has gone. We now have our meals up at the guest house with the others. For some reason they find my being English is hilarious!! They keep on making jokes about my "English" (cheek!) and finding my expressions highly amusing. Of course it works both ways! I know it´s seriously immature of me but I can´t help smiling each time they ask for the soda or talk about panty-hose. It makes me feel like I´m watching an American film. Ah bless them!
This afternoon they came to our house for tea and cake. Ceci looked a bit lost so I sorted out the tea cups, kettle, cakes etc. the Americans loved it, they thought it was an original English afternoon tea. I didn´t like to ruin their illusions so I agreed and said we always have afternoon tea at home with crumpets ;)
Sunday 30 January 2011
As to be expected I was at church this morning and also as to be expected I didn´t understand most of it! Yet another chance for me to look holy without actually understanding a word! I did get quite excited when I understood one of the worship songs but since the words were: "celebra cristo celebra. Cristo vive christo vive" I don´t think it was quite such a huge achievement ;) Ah well, plenty of time yet I guess.
The talk was based around Matthew 26:36-46. It´s when Jesus is in the garden of Gesthemane praying and the disciples fall asleep. The preacher showed a tv ad where various people are texting, on the phone etc when driving and cause crashes. The line was "good drivers just drive". He went on to say how this is a lesson for us in life; we mustn´t be distraced by "things." Keep your eyes on God. Stay alert and focussed on God-it is only then that you will be on the right path and make the right choices.
The actual talk was over an hour so he went into a lot more depth but I go lost after that point. I didn´t want to nod off (like last week!) so I kept on re-reading the passage. In my transltion it said that Jesus was sorrowful and afraid. This made me think. Jesus was scared....scared! When you go for an interview or exam you´re scared but there is always the tiny comfort that it will be over soon. Once you start the exam you get into the "moment" and usually are too busy to be scared. Jesus had no such comfort. He was afraid and He knew it would just get worse. What was He facing? The ultimate separation from God,Agonising pain, horribly slow death, parting from family, public degradation and humiliation. These are our worst fears, there can be nothing worse but He faced them. And He faced them alone because His family weren´t there and His friends abandoned Him.
We often feel alone when we´re troubled but usually we do have friends or family around us if we turn to them but Jesus didn´t:
Jesus was alone and scared so what did He do? He prayed!! He turned to God and sought His will.
The talk was based around Matthew 26:36-46. It´s when Jesus is in the garden of Gesthemane praying and the disciples fall asleep. The preacher showed a tv ad where various people are texting, on the phone etc when driving and cause crashes. The line was "good drivers just drive". He went on to say how this is a lesson for us in life; we mustn´t be distraced by "things." Keep your eyes on God. Stay alert and focussed on God-it is only then that you will be on the right path and make the right choices.
The actual talk was over an hour so he went into a lot more depth but I go lost after that point. I didn´t want to nod off (like last week!) so I kept on re-reading the passage. In my transltion it said that Jesus was sorrowful and afraid. This made me think. Jesus was scared....scared! When you go for an interview or exam you´re scared but there is always the tiny comfort that it will be over soon. Once you start the exam you get into the "moment" and usually are too busy to be scared. Jesus had no such comfort. He was afraid and He knew it would just get worse. What was He facing? The ultimate separation from God,Agonising pain, horribly slow death, parting from family, public degradation and humiliation. These are our worst fears, there can be nothing worse but He faced them. And He faced them alone because His family weren´t there and His friends abandoned Him.
We often feel alone when we´re troubled but usually we do have friends or family around us if we turn to them but Jesus didn´t:
Jesus was alone and scared so what did He do? He prayed!! He turned to God and sought His will.
Friday 28 January 2011
¿como esta?
Big excitement for me today..I went out all alone! I walked to shops, it´s my first time out all by myself. Trying to remember where to go and also trying to blend in and pretend I´m a local-it´s amazing how far 2-3 miles can be ;) I went to the post office and hired a mail box that way I can receive letters and perhaps parcels. You wouldn´t believe the paperwork needed; they even wanted my passport number (why?!) Manage to get an address though:
17-41-0011 casilleros postales
Conocoto
Quito
ECUADOR
I really hope this address works!
Started my Spanish lessons on Wednesday and am struggling along. I´m trying to remember I´ve only had 3 lessons and have never formally learnt another language before so am trying to not get too fed up. Being the only one learning I have no idea what kind of progress I should be making. Ceci gave me a test today to revise what we´d done (how mean is that?!) I´m proud to say I triumphed in the days of the week crossword (hardcore!) and reeled off the months of year but my numbers were not so good (shame!) Figers crossed I still remember everything when classes carry on on Monday...
17-41-0011 casilleros postales
Conocoto
Quito
ECUADOR
I really hope this address works!
Started my Spanish lessons on Wednesday and am struggling along. I´m trying to remember I´ve only had 3 lessons and have never formally learnt another language before so am trying to not get too fed up. Being the only one learning I have no idea what kind of progress I should be making. Ceci gave me a test today to revise what we´d done (how mean is that?!) I´m proud to say I triumphed in the days of the week crossword (hardcore!) and reeled off the months of year but my numbers were not so good (shame!) Figers crossed I still remember everything when classes carry on on Monday...
I´ve been here over a week! 10 days ago I was feeling a bit confused and we didn´t know whether I´d be able to get a visa and come but here I am. Hard to believe after all the training, fundraising and preparing that I´m actually here. This time last year I had no idea of going away, I would never have imagined being in Ecuador, in fact I didn´t even know where Ecuador was! As always God has a plan. It´s such a comfort to know that He has a bigger plan and is in control.
This week I have felt God near me and it has been such a comfort. There are many kind people here but when everyone else speaks another language it can be very isolating. Every mornig I sit on the veranda to pray. I can look down into the garden. There are beautiful tropical flowers that I can´t even name and right next to them are roses and gladioli. It´s nice to see "English" flowers mixed in with the sumptious tropical flowers. Itreminds me that God is with me here as well as when I´m home. Not matter what changes-God is the same.
This week I have felt God near me and it has been such a comfort. There are many kind people here but when everyone else speaks another language it can be very isolating. Every mornig I sit on the veranda to pray. I can look down into the garden. There are beautiful tropical flowers that I can´t even name and right next to them are roses and gladioli. It´s nice to see "English" flowers mixed in with the sumptious tropical flowers. Itreminds me that God is with me here as well as when I´m home. Not matter what changes-God is the same.
Monday 24 January 2011
Hi,
5 things I´ve learnt so far:
1) No matter what you clothes you choose if you´re wearing a body belt then you will look like a mutant pregnant kangaroo!
2) When getting unto a moving bus hold on or you will fall out.
3)Being a white female gives every weird guy thr right to make weird noises at you apparently.
4)It´s nearly impossible to saty awake during an hour long sermon when you don´t understand a SINGLE word. and finally...
5) Natwest cards do not work at all in Ecuador.
Point 5 is something I wish I knew before I put all my money into Natwest. I am now without money which certainly makes things interesting. I would appreciate prayer for this problem please if someone could spare a moment.
In spite of the money issue so far I´m having a good time. Ceci and Bill are nice. Yesterday was Cecis´grandons 1st birthday so they had a family party. 12 of them and only 1 of me! But it went by really well. Turns out you can communicate quite a lot with a pocket dictionnary and lots of hand guestures :) I am truly lucky to have been put into such a friendly family(in spite of them insisting I join in family photos.) I have noticed that I do tend to stand out here in pictures...can´t imagine why!
Went into the centre of Quito today to collect my passport back and get my Censo. I noticed my poor passport has been thoroughly messed up. Ah well, it now looks all battered in an interesting way, makes me feel like a true world traveller! The censo is hugely important but I dodn´t know why. I think it makes me legal or something:) Once again we experienced the joys of Ecuadorain organistional skills. You wait and get into right office (after 2 wrong starts) to then find out you need all sorts of requirements that nobody has metioned before. Lots of running around and then start all over again. Not much privacy either, the queue just comes into the office with you while you´re being interviewed! however miracle of miracles (and it is a miracle) I got my censo in 1 day!!!!! I am now officailly a legal and accepted mssionary.
Each time I meet someone new here I´m introduced as a missionary and I still can´t believe it. Doesn´t feel real. I mean it´s me! Me-who brought make-up, spare make-up and straightners with me. Me who has her teddy with her. Me who has a Spanish bible but can´t read a single verse in it. Being a missionary is grown up and serious, it just isn´t me. Lets hope God knows what He is doing...
5 things I´ve learnt so far:
1) No matter what you clothes you choose if you´re wearing a body belt then you will look like a mutant pregnant kangaroo!
2) When getting unto a moving bus hold on or you will fall out.
3)Being a white female gives every weird guy thr right to make weird noises at you apparently.
4)It´s nearly impossible to saty awake during an hour long sermon when you don´t understand a SINGLE word. and finally...
5) Natwest cards do not work at all in Ecuador.
Point 5 is something I wish I knew before I put all my money into Natwest. I am now without money which certainly makes things interesting. I would appreciate prayer for this problem please if someone could spare a moment.
In spite of the money issue so far I´m having a good time. Ceci and Bill are nice. Yesterday was Cecis´grandons 1st birthday so they had a family party. 12 of them and only 1 of me! But it went by really well. Turns out you can communicate quite a lot with a pocket dictionnary and lots of hand guestures :) I am truly lucky to have been put into such a friendly family(in spite of them insisting I join in family photos.) I have noticed that I do tend to stand out here in pictures...can´t imagine why!
Went into the centre of Quito today to collect my passport back and get my Censo. I noticed my poor passport has been thoroughly messed up. Ah well, it now looks all battered in an interesting way, makes me feel like a true world traveller! The censo is hugely important but I dodn´t know why. I think it makes me legal or something:) Once again we experienced the joys of Ecuadorain organistional skills. You wait and get into right office (after 2 wrong starts) to then find out you need all sorts of requirements that nobody has metioned before. Lots of running around and then start all over again. Not much privacy either, the queue just comes into the office with you while you´re being interviewed! however miracle of miracles (and it is a miracle) I got my censo in 1 day!!!!! I am now officailly a legal and accepted mssionary.
Each time I meet someone new here I´m introduced as a missionary and I still can´t believe it. Doesn´t feel real. I mean it´s me! Me-who brought make-up, spare make-up and straightners with me. Me who has her teddy with her. Me who has a Spanish bible but can´t read a single verse in it. Being a missionary is grown up and serious, it just isn´t me. Lets hope God knows what He is doing...
Saturday 22 January 2011
hola
Hello! I´ve had to borrow a computer so I´m writing this top haste. Thanks to everyone who has emailed me-Everyone here is so nice to me but I do feel a bit cut off without a phone and comuter. I don´t seem to be able connect with the internet on my laptop at the moment ( slight hitch with security key) so I can´t log on as I wish. I´m hoping to buy a phone card this week so hopefully I´ll be able to ring up home soon!
Have soo much to tell I don´t know where to start! Mmmm...I guess the begining is a good start :) I´m living with a couple called Bill and Ceci. Bill is American and Ceci is local. Ceci is very sweet and we get on pretty well together, she´s the one who´ll be teaching me Spanish. Their house is next to the Foundacion so I think post might actually arrive since it´s "official". But who knows?! I have my own room and bathroom which is the height of luxury and I´m thoroughly enjoying it. Happy day so far we have sitting toilets which also flush (major bonus!) but the slight hitch is they can´t handle toilet paper. When ´finished´you have to put the paper in a bin next to you. This is still a bit unusual and requires all my focus to remember!!!
Hnag on-quick update. The address does exist but letters don´t make it. The foundacion has a box thing in Quito but they only check it once a month :(
Foodwise I´ve tried various unknown vegetables and fruit and it´s all been good. I have had to firmly refuse guinea-pig!! I can compromise with chicken but I won´t give in on thegp front. I am millitant on this!!!!!! Diet here is very carb heavy:mash, rice etc for every meal and fried stuff. Keeping vaguely healthy will not be easy. Thank you for British tea bags smuggled in my suitcase! Only uht milk here but even so, my morning cup of tea is real treat.
I showed Ceci my family pics yesterday. My brother is a giant appaprently ;)
We have hummingbirds here! 7 different varieites. It´s totaly unbelievable, Bill has put up feeders and every few minutes you get a hummingbird at the widow fluttering away. They are soo beautiful! I feel as if I´m in a tropical zoo or something.
Had a mad busy day yesterday. Met up with Jill (my misison partner) and went into the centre of Quito to get my visa ratified. Buses are dirt cheap here, the downside is they don´t actually stop. They just slow down and you have to jump on and off. My daily excercise taken care of! The roads and pavements here are abysmal. No proper concrete or slabs. Just gavel in large parts or bits missing. Makes it a bumpy ride and difficult to walk. You have to keep your eyes down on the floor at all times and it is very dusty :( I´m happy to say I did finally get my visa seen to but it took countless requests for help,4 mile walk,3 taxis, 2 buses, 2 goverment buildings and 1 bank deposit before we managed it. Organisational skills are not a strong point here! And apparently I got off lightly!!! They kept my passport, which I don´t like, and I need to return next week.
By the time we finished out epic marathon Jill and I went straight to a farewell party for a missisoary girl. Met some English speaking people-hurrah! Then a large Arginitian party arrived and I spent the next 5 hours looking blank but poilte. I spend a lot of time standing around with people talking about me while I look gracious. It´s hard to not look bored and brain dead! Did meet a really nice and friendly American girl yesterday, Amy and hopefully we can meet up a bit. Didn´t leave until after 10 which made it 3am my time-I was shattered. Over here people tend to get up very early and go to bed aerly. 8-9 is the usual bed time. This is will take some getting used to I think. Mind you at the moment I´m wide awake at 5am because of time difference, feels totally unnatural but at least I look keen ;)
How´s life in sunny England? Come on people, I want news, gossip, updates, newspaper headlines etc.
Have soo much to tell I don´t know where to start! Mmmm...I guess the begining is a good start :) I´m living with a couple called Bill and Ceci. Bill is American and Ceci is local. Ceci is very sweet and we get on pretty well together, she´s the one who´ll be teaching me Spanish. Their house is next to the Foundacion so I think post might actually arrive since it´s "official". But who knows?! I have my own room and bathroom which is the height of luxury and I´m thoroughly enjoying it. Happy day so far we have sitting toilets which also flush (major bonus!) but the slight hitch is they can´t handle toilet paper. When ´finished´you have to put the paper in a bin next to you. This is still a bit unusual and requires all my focus to remember!!!
Hnag on-quick update. The address does exist but letters don´t make it. The foundacion has a box thing in Quito but they only check it once a month :(
Foodwise I´ve tried various unknown vegetables and fruit and it´s all been good. I have had to firmly refuse guinea-pig!! I can compromise with chicken but I won´t give in on thegp front. I am millitant on this!!!!!! Diet here is very carb heavy:mash, rice etc for every meal and fried stuff. Keeping vaguely healthy will not be easy. Thank you for British tea bags smuggled in my suitcase! Only uht milk here but even so, my morning cup of tea is real treat.
I showed Ceci my family pics yesterday. My brother is a giant appaprently ;)
We have hummingbirds here! 7 different varieites. It´s totaly unbelievable, Bill has put up feeders and every few minutes you get a hummingbird at the widow fluttering away. They are soo beautiful! I feel as if I´m in a tropical zoo or something.
Had a mad busy day yesterday. Met up with Jill (my misison partner) and went into the centre of Quito to get my visa ratified. Buses are dirt cheap here, the downside is they don´t actually stop. They just slow down and you have to jump on and off. My daily excercise taken care of! The roads and pavements here are abysmal. No proper concrete or slabs. Just gavel in large parts or bits missing. Makes it a bumpy ride and difficult to walk. You have to keep your eyes down on the floor at all times and it is very dusty :( I´m happy to say I did finally get my visa seen to but it took countless requests for help,4 mile walk,3 taxis, 2 buses, 2 goverment buildings and 1 bank deposit before we managed it. Organisational skills are not a strong point here! And apparently I got off lightly!!! They kept my passport, which I don´t like, and I need to return next week.
By the time we finished out epic marathon Jill and I went straight to a farewell party for a missisoary girl. Met some English speaking people-hurrah! Then a large Arginitian party arrived and I spent the next 5 hours looking blank but poilte. I spend a lot of time standing around with people talking about me while I look gracious. It´s hard to not look bored and brain dead! Did meet a really nice and friendly American girl yesterday, Amy and hopefully we can meet up a bit. Didn´t leave until after 10 which made it 3am my time-I was shattered. Over here people tend to get up very early and go to bed aerly. 8-9 is the usual bed time. This is will take some getting used to I think. Mind you at the moment I´m wide awake at 5am because of time difference, feels totally unnatural but at least I look keen ;)
How´s life in sunny England? Come on people, I want news, gossip, updates, newspaper headlines etc.
Wednesday 19 January 2011
Tuesday 18 January 2011
setting off
God provides:)
I have been provided for this task!!! I am unique; my past, mistakes I've learnt from and temperament are all exactly right for this specific work I've been given from God (and for God.)
Step out in faith---sow the seeds---God provides
I have been provided for this task!!! I am unique; my past, mistakes I've learnt from and temperament are all exactly right for this specific work I've been given from God (and for God.)
Step out in faith---sow the seeds---God provides
Monday 10 January 2011
I'm doing a talk on Sunday and it's about the New Year and the choices that we have. What will I do with this year? What and who do I want to be? I don't have the faintest idea yet on what I'll be saying but it does give me a an opportunity to look back at the last year and think about the journey I've made.
I was looking through my diary yesterday and came across an entry from the summer. I wrote it during my training and the session was about how to cope when faced with suffering. Will I keep faith or have doubts? How do I manage when I see terrible abuse and pain?
This for me is probably one of my lowest points during the year;
"I wanted to cry! I wanted to someone to put their arms around me, wrap me up in a cosy blanket and tell me everything would be ok. I was scared, depressed and I felt alone.
I was away at a training course and we had just had a session on suffering and about keeping faith in the face of pain. We came to a time of sharing where my partner and I were meant to discuss a difficult time and how we had found God. This would be private between us. I was paired with Ben;a kind boy who I'd prayed with several times but when that sharing moment came we couldn't bring ourselves to discuss our past pain. Later on we were put into a group of four and given Bible verses to read and a couple of quotes about suffering. In silence we spent time reading the verses and thinking about the quotes; and then in silence we stared at each other. Even now we couldn't speak. For 2 weeks we had prayed, shared experiences&hopes with each other, wrestled with issues and become friends but when it came to facing suffering we just couldn't find the words to speak.
I looked at the Bible verses and felt angry, they seemed patronising and useless. I'm told God doesn't cause suffering or happily allow it to happen. Our pain hurts God as much as it hurts us. Well, that may be true but at that moment I just didn't care. God might cause pain but He allows it, and why? For the gift of free will. For me the gift of free will is not a gift, the price we pay is pain and suffering. Free will allows us to hurt people but it also allows us to worship God as our own choice, who cares? God should've made us obey him absolutely, no freedom perhaps but then neither would we have murder, torture, rape, abuse or any other kind of pain. As I looked down and re-read a quote from a concentration camp survivor who'd lost her faith I felt overwhelming anger, bitterness and hopelessness. None of us had any answers.
Each one of us in that small group had been specially selected for mission. We had filled in forms, gone through several interviews and had in depth inquiries made about our mental and spiritual capabilities. None of us had wandered into that session by accident. It had taken us months to get into that room and we were all confident that we had been chosen by God but now? Now, we didn't feel selected or chosen. We felt hurt and lost.
I wanted to cry! I wanted to someone to put their arms around me, wrap me up in a cosy blanket and tell me everything would be ok. I was scared, depressed and I felt alone.
The session ended and as we walked to our prayer groups I felt soo lonely. I didn't want to go away on mission, didn't want to see pain or suffering. I didn't need to prepare myself for doubt, I already was doubting and that hurt a lot. I looked at the others around me. We are Chritstians, we believe and know an all powerful and all knowing God. We are protected and loved; if we cannot face suffering without breaking down then how does the rest of the world cope?
Nobody gave us an answer. Nobody came and gave me a nice cosy blanket to snuggle in. My only way of coping is knowing God did put his arms around me."
I was looking through my diary yesterday and came across an entry from the summer. I wrote it during my training and the session was about how to cope when faced with suffering. Will I keep faith or have doubts? How do I manage when I see terrible abuse and pain?
This for me is probably one of my lowest points during the year;
"I wanted to cry! I wanted to someone to put their arms around me, wrap me up in a cosy blanket and tell me everything would be ok. I was scared, depressed and I felt alone.
I was away at a training course and we had just had a session on suffering and about keeping faith in the face of pain. We came to a time of sharing where my partner and I were meant to discuss a difficult time and how we had found God. This would be private between us. I was paired with Ben;a kind boy who I'd prayed with several times but when that sharing moment came we couldn't bring ourselves to discuss our past pain. Later on we were put into a group of four and given Bible verses to read and a couple of quotes about suffering. In silence we spent time reading the verses and thinking about the quotes; and then in silence we stared at each other. Even now we couldn't speak. For 2 weeks we had prayed, shared experiences&hopes with each other, wrestled with issues and become friends but when it came to facing suffering we just couldn't find the words to speak.
I looked at the Bible verses and felt angry, they seemed patronising and useless. I'm told God doesn't cause suffering or happily allow it to happen. Our pain hurts God as much as it hurts us. Well, that may be true but at that moment I just didn't care. God might cause pain but He allows it, and why? For the gift of free will. For me the gift of free will is not a gift, the price we pay is pain and suffering. Free will allows us to hurt people but it also allows us to worship God as our own choice, who cares? God should've made us obey him absolutely, no freedom perhaps but then neither would we have murder, torture, rape, abuse or any other kind of pain. As I looked down and re-read a quote from a concentration camp survivor who'd lost her faith I felt overwhelming anger, bitterness and hopelessness. None of us had any answers.
Each one of us in that small group had been specially selected for mission. We had filled in forms, gone through several interviews and had in depth inquiries made about our mental and spiritual capabilities. None of us had wandered into that session by accident. It had taken us months to get into that room and we were all confident that we had been chosen by God but now? Now, we didn't feel selected or chosen. We felt hurt and lost.
I wanted to cry! I wanted to someone to put their arms around me, wrap me up in a cosy blanket and tell me everything would be ok. I was scared, depressed and I felt alone.
The session ended and as we walked to our prayer groups I felt soo lonely. I didn't want to go away on mission, didn't want to see pain or suffering. I didn't need to prepare myself for doubt, I already was doubting and that hurt a lot. I looked at the others around me. We are Chritstians, we believe and know an all powerful and all knowing God. We are protected and loved; if we cannot face suffering without breaking down then how does the rest of the world cope?
Nobody gave us an answer. Nobody came and gave me a nice cosy blanket to snuggle in. My only way of coping is knowing God did put his arms around me."
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